LIFE IS NOT A BOX OF CHOCOLATES

As life progresses and with increased exposure to different environments, cultures, and value systems, it is only a natural process to ask yourself, “what do I really believe?” The answer to that question seemed so easy 12 years ago when I was living in a small southwestern Virginia town at the age of 18, fresh out of high school and on my way to change the world. There was right and wrong, black and white, donkeys and elephants. Those were the basics that would carry me through life, right??

During my undergraduate work, I was exposed to men and women from all over the country. With that came continuous heated discussions of interracial relationships, the latest political topics, homosexual rights, and all other controversial topics that typical excited, eager teenagers enjoy arguing. At that time I was openly opposed to all freedom rights of the mother. How could a woman choose to abort this wonderful creature that she developed?? Life at that point had not exposed me to hardships that many men and women face every day.

Moving to New England for three years came the cold but also a new perspective to the world of “the lefties.” Die hard Democrats. At that time I was training in various clinical offices that offered an array of diverse medical conditions. For the female population, in particular, I saw a mother battling bipolar disorder while having to feed and clothe 4 children under the age of 8 (which ultimately led to Child Protective Services removing the children from the home). I witnessed a 14 year old girl discuss her own pregnancy with her mother (whom was also pregnant at the time). I saw the physical, financial and emotional hardships one woman faced raising her only severely handicap son on her own. The list goes on. I decided at that time that I cannot save the world; however I can certainly provide some education.

When I settled in Maui, Hawaii, I started working in Family Practice/Urgent Care and attracted a younger population of patients, primarily women age 13-45. In discussing issues such as pregnancy, STD’s, child rearing and sex, it seemed the majority of younger women were not comfortable discussing their social history with their parents. Time and time again I heard, “Will my mom find out about this?” or “Do you promise you won’t tell. My parents would kill me.” The reassurance was of course given but also what was given was factual, evidence based medical information on life issues applicable to women of child bearing age.

Humans were developed in a systematic manner. Women were designed to begin child rearing as early as 9 years old. It is these biological changes that conflict with emotional and “societal” maturity. Unfortunately not all parents’ view their children as emotionally/socially inept, regardless of their biological maturity. Equally unfortunate is the discomfort seen when discussing heavy issues with women of child bearing age and their parents.

Subject bias benefits no one. Individualizing and remaining open to your patients’ social and personal concerns will establish a sense of trust and understanding between you and your patients (regardless of age). Through life’s path I have become aware of the complexity that young women, in particular, face in determining the best outcome for both themselves and their offspring. It is important as health care providers to deliver an unbiased truth of the medical facts that accompany these social issues. In this way we can allow our patients to make educated decisions about what is best for their personal wellbeing.