Right to Live

When I was in nursing school, I worked as a nursing assistant. During my last year of school, I was blessed with a private duty case, taking care of a 86 years old lady. She was full of life, though mildly fragile. She lived in an assisted living facility, never had any children, but has a niece who was her power of attorney. One faithful morning, she took a fall, laid on the floor for hours until I got there. when I found her she was oriented, in a lot of pain, but unable to ambulate. I called for help, and she was sent to the emergency room. She had suffered a fractured hip, and the niece declined surgery. From the hospital, she was then admitted to the infirmary, at the assisted living where she lived.

She had a gastrostomy tube placed due to poor eating before she left the hospital. While at the infirmary, she continued with feeding via the tube, and was slowing progressing. Then the niece came to town, and decided that all the feedings and medications should be stopped immediately. The doctor agreed, and so it was done. While taking care of this lady, I could not figure out how that could have happened. How one can come and say stop feeding a person, and so shall it be. After a week of no food, no water, just swabbing her mouth to keep it moist, I saw a human being wasting away. It was very painful for me to take care of this woman at this state. I thought to myself, if this woman had bore her own kids, this would not have happened. I didn't think this woman would want to die that way. For three weeks as this woman lingered in suffering, I wondered how this can be allowed. The fall didn't mean imminent death, surgery at her age, maybe not, but i didn't think death needed to be forced on her this way. Finally she died in suffering, and that thought hunted me for years. There was still quality of life in the woman. Bedrest, continued tube feeding, would have probably help this woman regain her strength at to some extent, but death, that was unimaginable to me.

This experience shape my life, and my thoughts in how I feel about life and death issues. Then I started working as a nurse on a vent unit where patients were taken off the vent, and die just like that. I wondered whether this was a common practice. I wondered how family could make those decision in natural vs unnatural death.

I finally gave up thinking how wrong it was to let someone die when they have certain condition until I had a 58 yrs old female with ALS as a patient. This woman planned the day she wanted to be taken off the vent, what, when and how she wanted it done. Most of all this woman stated she has had a good life, she know how her illness will progress for the worse, and she didn't want to get to that point. She loved her kids, and grand kids, and didn't want to put there lives on hold. In all my experience, this was the first time I met with such bravery. It was hard for me to accept her decision, but this woman was extremely happy about the choice she mad. She was finally taken off the vent, and she only lasted 3 hours.

Everyday, I hear people say, I will never want to live this way. My question is whose choice is it? God or man. I cannot answer this.